Letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer

Dear Mr. Darling,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan :

There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - housing crisis fixed.

4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university - crime rate fixed

5) Buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco / petrol a week ..... there's your money back in duty / tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of Parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.