An old man goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.

'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'

'I can cut them for you ' said the chemist
'But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.'

'I am 96 ' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'