The best thing about being schizophrenic is that I'm never alone.

I used to have multiple personalities, we feel great now.

I've always been a hypochondriac. As a kid, I'd eat my M&M's one by one with a glass of water.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

Hypochondria is the only illness that I don't have.

Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.