Favourite or good poems

OMG That is so good made me really laugh lol love it

lol that is a funny one chewy i loved reading that one :D

very very good it will most prob happen 2 us all sooner or later lmao :o))))))p

My Missus

I never believed what people said
That me missus liked other blokes in her bed
So I'll tell you my story,
Each word it is true
Just in case it should happen to you

Came home from work
Early one night
Walked into my house
And had quite a fright
My missus was chained
From her toes to her head!
She saw me and fainted -
When recovered she said......

"Oh Harry, you gave me a terrible shock -
I was trying my lovely new chain-mail frock!!"

I chose to believe when I looked in her eyes
Just couldn't conceive that she'd ever tell lies

Then later that week
On returning from darts
I noticed my wife had the terrible farts
I asked her "Pour quoi?"
She replied as such -
"The eggs, they were off
And I ate far too much!!"

I thought nothing of it,
Settled down for a nap,
But was aroused from my slumber
By our squeaky cat-flap

I thought this quite odd
As our cat was long dead
Then through sleepy-hazed eyes
I could see this blokes head!

I jumped from my chair
And I pointed with blame
"This man is your lover,
Now tell me his name!"

She tried to stay calm
But her voiced dripped with fear
And she feebly offered.......
"It's the milkman my dear!"

I should have paid heed
To the words people said
Indeed it did seem
That she liked 'giving head'!

I confronted her thus,
In response she did say,
"But to you I can't do it -
I think that you're gay!"

I took a deep breath
Told her "Don't hit the roof,
But it seems now's the time
For the sharing of truth.........

Don't take it too hard,
But the truth of all this
Is the 'Mr' you married
Was at one time a 'Miss'!!"

lol jacs very gd hun liking it lmao :o))))))))))))))))))

My favourite poem is If by Rudyard Kipling.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

In my opinion one of the best poems ever - thank you so much for posting it.