A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

Duplos will not.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

It will however make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).