1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas
bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for
the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas
used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily
Telegraph)


2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami
in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing
her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)


3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because
they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they
don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)


4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was
rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman
commented, "This sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)


5) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and
asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he
didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown
his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)


6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience
with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week
to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled.
"He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in
the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)