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It is already the last day of 2007 over here and just like it was on the first day of this year, I am all alone in my room and it is very cold once again. The only difference might be that I am feeling much worse and not allowed to get up and it is much more colder than it was before. But there is no waiting for a hug or a word anymore because mamma isn't with me and she is gone. I know that she is in my heart and will always be there, but I can not give her a hug and I can not talk to her about ...

Just a little message to let you all know that I am just back from the hospital. It is not yet known when I have to go there again, but this evening I was allowed to go back home and pappa and two of his friends have brought me back. I was feeling very dizzy and could not write anything or use my notebook. But still I have turned it on, but could not do anything at all. I am told to stay in bed and now I am home alone with pappa's friend and pappa went to London for a short business trip and he ...

Dear Magic,

I thank you for your care and understanding
I thank you for the words you always find,
For helping me when I can not be standing
And filling me with happiness inside.
For all the minutes you have given to us all,
For all requested songs and all the dedications,
For helping me feel safe, all warm and strong,
For finding songs and words for any situation.
I thank you for you gave me right to write,
I thank ...

I do not know why awful things are always following each other and why when it seems that it can not get worse, there is something else that comes your way. Probably only God can answer this question... I wanted to add this entry to my blog and to tell you of a truly wonderful person I have met in my life. Unfortunately, he is not with us anymore and I can say that it might be the hardest day for my pappa since mamma's death...

This evening there was a phone call from a place of ...

This morning I woke up from the terrible nightmare and could not catch my breathe for a long time. It was about seeing the doctor and all the awful and yucky things happening to me. Sometimes all our fears find a truly mean way to come out like that. So I started to pray and was asking God to help me to overcome this. Then as I got up and went downstairs I realized how much God is giving me for every second of my life and how much blessed I am. It may be sounding normal and just like I am really ...