prince mio

I can remember how I felt yesterday in the morning. Mamma was yelling at me and telling me to calm down because I kept crying for all the time and I could not understand what was going on. My heart would skip a beat from every sound and I did not want to stay alone in my room. Mamma had to go to the airport to meet her old friend, but I have asked her to stay with me. I gave her a big hug and did not want to let her go. She kept asking me if something has happened and why am I not telling her. I did not know what to do and I kept praying for all the time. Then closer to the late evening I was allowed to go on-line and so I have finally sent a little message to our dear Chewy (Tracey). Then I have heard back from her and I remember the way how I ran down the lines until I have read about Ade... I swallowed all hard and my feet felt numb. I would have fallen if I was up on my feet. My head was ready to explode and the shock and the fear were so big that I have almost shouted... Now I am starting to realize of how much strength and inner energy Tracey and Magic had to find to write back and to tell me what has happened and how much hard and how much painful it was for both of them to talk back to me in PM. It was the first thought that came up to my head when I woke up. I had about two hours of sleep because I just kept crying and thinking for all the time...

I spoke to mamma about it and she kept crying a lot too and told me that Ade is in Heaven now and that he is always watching us all now from above. I have asked her why God is allowing things like that to happen and she told me that she just does not know... The days I've spent with Ade on-line were one of the happiest days for me. When he spoke to me I felt like I had another pappa that would always listen to me and would talk to me and share so much care and love. Even few words were enough to let one see and feel how Ade felt this life and the things he was living for. He was, he is and he will always remain the best example of what a true friend, pappa and a person should be. My heart goes out to Elaine, JP and all the family, to Magic and Chewy and to all the people at the Hunting Ground and the ones from the other networks.
I want to give you all a very big hug, all of my strength and all of my love. I am keeping all of you in my prayers and in my heart. You all mean so much to me... God bless all of you and I wish I could take away at least a bit of all the pain and grief you are going through now. We all have to be as tight and together as we have never been before.
United we stand, divided we fall... as it goes in a song. Take a very good care everyone, be there for each other and take all of my strength and love. Hold on to me, please, and remember that I am always there for all of you.

With all my love,

Your always loving Rasmus.