prince mio

I was finally allowed to get up and I decided to add a little bit of everything to my blog. I am still feeling weak and dizzy, but very glad to be back home and over the first half of my tests. Some of them were really painful today and I have to see the doctor tomorrow as well. This morning I had to get up at 7am and I didn't really get much sleep, if only an hour of staying in bed. I've been too stressed because I would have to see my pappa who was away for a long time. I was staying with pappa's friend Mr. Cranston and this morning I have finally seen pappa for the first time after my mamma's death. I have cried a lot over this moment, but pappa has been very cold and dry. He didn't talk to me much at all and was only talking to my doctor. The doctor told me that I am brave and that I am keeping on well which made me glad. At least someone from adults have noticed that! Pappa was a little bit late and me and mister Cranston went to talk to the doctor and I was taken away for the various heart and immunity tests. As always, it all started with a blood test and once again the vampires dressed in white did not fail to do what they usually do. :)
Then there was a moment when I have nearly cried out. I would usually get up and have mamma take my hand, but this time I was all alone. Pappa is a kind of a person that would never sit by your side. Though I can say that he became a little bit softer than he was the first year after tsunami or when I have only got on DC in 2006. I remember that back then pappa would get angry with me when he would not understand something I was saying. But our moving for all the time made me learn lots of different languages that is why I would often use foreign words and such. It took some time to get used and pappa would start yelling. He yelled at me today as well, but just for the problems I was having on-line and getting banned from 3 hubs now.

But it seems that some people are just not taught the basics of friendship, care and love. I will not name the hubs this has happened to me, but just will say that there was a fight between two hubs and I was made choose sides. I did not want to take sides and tried to keep peace with everyone, not wishing to take sides. Then I have even left one of the hubs for the sake of peace and promised not to go there again. Yes, I did wrong as I could see the spying and my friends getting kicked and banned. I have also been banned for telling one of the owners that she has to learn to live with my being in hubs I want to go. I did apologize because she thought that it was rude. I did not mean it rude at all, but I did apologize sincerely. I have been banned after my "rudeness". Then I have been in that "forbidden" place to tell my friends of what has happened to my mamma, but the owner of the other hub has got angry with me for being there, even though she has been warned. But now I understand that it was all "pearls before swine". Do you remember the words from the Bible? Just meaning that you do not have to throw pearls as they will only step on them and walk over you... I have lost lots of my very good friends because of this fighting. It hurts when the war means more than friendship. Some people involved are even older than my pappa and it makes you wonder why are they like that when they are supposed to understand more. But I have seen this happening all over DC lately, almost in every single hub. I have tried to explain this all to pappa since he did try to get involved in all of this when I didn't know about my mamma yet. Now pappa told me that he won't do anything anymore and that I am left to decide what to do on my own... sigh...

After the tests were done, I was taken out for a quick snack while pappa and mister Cranston kept talking. I did not eat anything though because I was feeling too exhausted and sick from all the tests. I do not remember the way back very well because I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes again, I went to the notebook, but stumbled and has hurt my foot a little. Now it hurts. Now I have to see the doctor once again and pappa will be here tomorrow at 10am. I am not sure when will I be back, but at least half of the tests will be good, it should be fine...

And I want to give my thanks to everyone for your support and your care. I love you all very very much! *big big hugs* And thanks for Magic for talking to me last night!

Your always loving Rasmus.