There is no greater feeling in a world than coming back home to the ones you love and miss. My life felt incomplete and empty for all the time I was unable to be here with you. It seemed to me that a piece of my heart kept missing and I could not keep things right. I want to thank you all for all of your support, for all of your letters and the pictures, all of your care, for not forgetting me and for being the very best family to me. Thank you for being there in my heart and for giving me so much ...
I wish there was a single word that would bring peace, calm and safety to everyone, something that would stop all the fighting, jealousy, the insults that are still not forgiven and the questions not yet answered. So much has been happening around me and there were times when I wished someone would stop this world from spinning too fast. I felt like crying, but could not cry, wanted to shout, but could not say a word. It was hurting way too much and I could not say a single word for some time. Strange ...
It is getting colder and the days are turning dark and windy. I can barely catch up with everything that is taking place. It would be great if I could focus on at least 2-3 things at a time, but everything keeps swallowing me. I could not talk and I could not write. Something felt stuck inside... Everything I considered as right and good appeared to be unnecessary and unwanted. I would try to give a part of my heart to those I cared for, but would receive a punch back right into my face. It is like ...
I want to thank you all for your support and care, for all of your letters and the kind words. I am sorry for being so much down these days, but I'm just trying to keep as quiet as possible and to keep my mouth shut about what's going on at least before things get better. I remember how I was told once by one of mamma's friends that people will not care for your troubles and those who do will not ask you anything and just will be there for you. Sometimes you just can not speak of things because ...
I have been thinking of what to write and of how to write of all the things that have happened to me. I was trying to look for the words, but everything didn't seem right to me. Now I can understand my pappa very well who could not tell me what has happened to mamma. Just because you can not tell someone has gone and not with us anymore... But then there are no words that would seem right. It is still very hard to talk and hard not to cry. Since I was told about my mamma, I could not stop crying ...
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